Late one night last weekend, I saw a student stumbling across campus. This young man had no money and no jacket, despite the frigid temperature. In a panic, he approached another student asking him for directions. The calmer student entreated the fretful young man to come back with him so they could call a cab and get warm. After the student ignored his pleas and insisted on walking, the kind gentleman gave the student his sweater. When I asked him why he did this, he said, “he needed the sweater more than me.”
It’s not uncommon to hear of isolated incidents of kindness — good Samaritans who go out of their way to help others, expecting nothing in return. But kindness is never a priority among our species. Humans didn’t become superior by being nice. Kindness is often mistaken as being passivity. The expression of mercy or trust is perverted as a sign of weakness. In literature and film, we crave complex antiheroes that enthrall us with their tortured behaviors.
The kinder, more clean-cut characters appear boring or one-dimensional in comparison. Scarlett O’Hara is far more engaging than her selfless counterpart, Melanie Wilkes, in “Gone with the Wind.” But who’s to say that kind people aren’t complex? Kind people have dreams, fears and insecurities that drive their decisions.
When sites like Elite Daily publish laundry lists of desirable traits in a partner, intelligence, ambition and confidence are usually ranked the highest. While these qualities are seen as the most important, kindness and compassion are paramount for any successful relationship. Being kind demonstrates a different vein of confidence and intelligence, one that requires trust in other people. Kindness is bravery.
The world we live in engenders mistrust and cynicism in our fellow man. Our political climate is dominated by violent and cruel rhetoric that preaches exclusion and disunity. Hours after Pope Francis delivered his Easter homily that emphasized hope and mercy, 69 people were killed in a public park in Lahore, Pakistan. We must pray for the victims instead of demanding the blood of the attackers. We must convert our hatred into productive love and support for those who are suffering.
Kindness is a versatile trait and easy to employ every day. Smile at children, over-tip waitresses and be a shoulder for people to lean on. Be a voice for the voiceless and lend an ear for those who think no one is listening. Let your kindness be pure of reason. Don’t expect gratitude or a monetary reward. If there is an audience, let your kindness serve as an inspiration.
There are so many expectations we adhere to in order to be successful. We must be driven, strong and focused. As we all climb ahead in life, let’s not forget those who haven’t been fortunate enough to excel. Giving food and money to homeless people is not a waste. Giving your sweater to a scared and lonely person is not foolish, it’s beautiful.
In case you were wondering, the kid eventually got his sweater back. When I lauded his act of kindness as being incredible, he politely dismissed it as doing the right thing. Thank you, stranger, for making the night less cold for someone else and making the world a little less scary for the rest of us.