Attention students: Here is a list of things you must do before you graduate. Yeah, I know what you’re thinking: I’ve done everything I want to do at Binghamton. Impossible. You haven’t read this column yet.
So without further ado:
Binghamton is known for its many carousels. And as everyone knows, many means six. Considering they are free to ride, though, you have no excuse.
2. Go hiking in the Nature Preserve at night.
Hiking at night is calming and really brings you back to nature. As an extra safety precaution, or for the company, you can always join the cops on their nightly hike, you know, while they are busting people for smoking.
3. Go hiking in the Nature Preserve during the day.
What? Love me some Preserve.
4. Go to a house party where you don’t know anyone.
A staple in your college career. Usually happens inadvertently when freshmen, still wearing their orientation grins, realize that “knowing everyone” pretty much equates to knowing nobody.
5. Go to the bars with a fake ID of someone twice your age and half your height.
You want to get looked up and down, you want to look good, you want to look confident, but once the bouncer looks at you, all you want to look is 21.
6. Experience Wegmans.
For everyone who has not been to a Wegmans before, I have two things to say to you: it is important to realize that this is not your fault, and buy the rotisserie chicken.
7. Live in College-in-the-Woods.
The great thing about CIW is that it embraces the beauty of northern New York by throwing itself into its surroundings. No, not on top of its surroundings, into them. So yes, it might be covered in hippies, and yes, people may think playing frisbee is the surest way to academic excellence, but it has its charm.
8. Go to the Glenn G. Bartle Library and don’t study.
We’ve all spent an unfortunate amount of time at Bartle Library during our time here. How many of those times would you rate as jaw-dropping fun? Let’s change that. When you’re relaxed there’s no way to feel even better than being around people who are stressed.
Next time you’re feeling really stress-free, go to the North Reading Room, kick up your feet and watch a movie. Laugh, even if it’s a drama. Cry, even if it’s a comedy. Oh, and you better have brought popcorn too. Don’t forget to look around and smile at everyone.
9. Have sex in your bed.
My friend from Cornell was telling me that it’s common tradition to have sex in the stacks in their library, but I know us Binghamton babes have too much class. No, not the Lecture Hall brand of class; I’m talking dignity. And by dignity I’m really talking about there being too few books and too many eyes. I suggest just opting for your room. Though a little bland, at least the eyes staring at you aren’t those of your lab teaching assistant from two years ago hiding behind a copy of Pipe Dream.
10. Befriend a stray cat.
Just do it.