Four thousand four hundred teenagers and young adults commit suicide every year. Bullying accounts for a large majority of these suicides. Over the years, the definition of “bullying” has been expanded to such as teasing, name calling and other trivial insults. Common acts that every child experiences can now be prosecuted in a court of law.
The recent Anti-Bullying Bill of Rights Act, New Jersey’s 22-page legislation, outlines the new protocol for instances of bullying. The legislation mandates that schools appoint anti-bullying specialists and that every school district employ an anti-bullying coordinator. Discounting the expenses this costs schools, these laws are punitive and criminalize the act of mere teasing.
In 2013, an eighth grader from Ridgewood, New Jersey was taken to court for calling a fellow classmate “horse,” “fat” and “fat ass.” While it is imperative to establish that bullying is unacceptable, we are desensitizing children to the point where they cannot accept criticism. We are cushioning them to develop fragile egos that will be shattered at the mere taunt of “stupid head.”
Most people can say they did not go through their childhood and adolescence verbally unscathed. It’s a part of life. As much as I hate the archaic excuse that kids will be kids, learning how to cope with a moderate dose of bullying can be healthy for a child’s or adolescent’s development.
My nickname in middle school was “Hobbit,” although sometimes I was called “Crazy.” To be called “Troll” was a blessing. When a classmate first called me “Gollum,” I responded telling him his forehead was so big it looked like his hair is trying to get away from the rest of his head. I know it was lame, but as the insults progressed, I learned to match their intensity.
Oddly enough, I would look forward to these daily linguistic battles. It was a challenge for me to develop my sarcasm and learn how to defend myself. I knew I would never be a prized fighter, so instead of exercising my muscles, I exercised my tongue and cheek. Sometimes my retorts garnered respect from my nemesis. Eventually he stopped teasing me, and only called me “Hobbit” as a term of endearment.
I’m not yearning for the days of bullying past, but a little bullying can put things into perspective. Learning how to effectively deal with a bully, with a little mediation, can help an adolescent solve more pressing problems. There has been a growing effort in schools to teach students to love and respect one another. But maybe kids should dislike certain people. Sometimes, kids need to be put in their place by their peers.
It’s hard to tell a suicidal teenager to be resilient when they are plagued by incessant harassment from their peers. It’s hard to shrug off the voices that convince you that you’re better off dead, but there must be a focus on how to ignore bullying, rather than harping on the consequences of it. Children and young adults must recognize the insignificance of bullies or else they will grapple with the more critical aspects of life.