ENFJ. Just a bunch of letters to some people. But to me, they pack more of a punch — mostly in the face. They are my results from a Jung Typology test I decided to take on a whim.
My results can be broken down into extroverted, intuitive, feeling and judging. A lot of what they said about me was right on, and there was other stuff I wanted to pretend was not. It was good reading the positive attributes about my personality type, but admittedly less fun reading the negative. And as with everything in my overly-generalized world, whatever is not fun is usually better for you in the long run.
The personality analysis described an extrovert as someone who despises being alone because they fear getting sucked into negative thinking and a dark outlook. Although flattered at the depth they saw in me, I couldn’t help but think that they dug too far to find it. Who would want to be alone all the time? Who would welcome loneliness with a smile?
But these questions were probably filtered through the mind of an ENFJ, sadly, reinforcing the analysis’ key points.
As they say, pain is beauty. And nothing holds the potential to be as painful or beautiful than the task of becoming closer to yourself. Luckily for us this task is practically an unwritten assignment throughout our stay at college.
But you don’t have to take a personality test in an attempt to understand yourself better. Remember, lest you forget, you’re with yourself constantly. Getting in touch with yourself doesn’t require a signal. All you need is a quiet place. Or a loud one. An empty room. Or a busy street. As I said before, you can find yourself anywhere. Where to start?
Begin by paying more attention to whatever isn’t in the forefront of your mind. These are the backup dancers to your more pervasive thoughts, your stars who take center stage. But you’re the choreographer with the ability to switch up the line-up. And it’s time for something new.
To pull the attention back to me — as an ENFJ, it’s practically a requirement — I decided to throw myself into the midst of my “battle.”
This great feat involved closing my door and spending some time alone. After just a half hour by myself, I had to acknowledge the strong urge to walk into the kitchen and just make small talk.
It’s not that I had anything to say, but just that I wanted company. But then I realized the disfavor I’ve been doing to myself. I was insulted. If I supposedly attract people to me with my energy, where was it when I was by myself?
I started to see that I am holding out on me. The energy that I, as an ENFJ, am supposed to exude dissipates throughout my interactions, leaving me with very little. And this is just in a half hour.
The past few days I’ve been making time to be alone and rediscovering how refreshing it can be. By paying attention to those parts of you that you’d rather not, you are sure to discover aspects that need tending to.
Yeah, sometimes it’s safe to disregard the things that scare you, but you can only turn a blind eye for so long until the buildup is too much to ignore. You can live safely and create a life where only one aspect of you plays a part, but if you let yourself bring all facets of your personality together, you may just produce a captivating cast of characters. Take the stage by storm.