Good afternoon family, friends, esteemed faculty and fellow graduates of the Harpur College of Arts and Sciences, otherwise known as “Students Who Did Not Get Into SOM.” In a short matter of time, each and every one of us seniors will be handed a diploma signifying four years of academic achievement. The Oxford English Dictionary...
As an English major, I’ve spent much of the last four years indulging in what many consider to be the greatest literary achievements in the history of the world. Now, weeks away from receiving my degree, I feel as if I have a pretty keen sense as to what is quality, and what is not....
Unless you live in a cave, it’s hard to ignore the enormous success of this year’s breakout hit, “The Hunger Games.” Adapted from a novel by Suzanne Collins, the film has grossed over $300 million, with no sign of slowing down. Well, great for them. I’m glad they’re all making so much money. Makes me...
As my seemingly fruitless quest for a career moves along at a snail’s pace, I often worry that my best working days are behind me. Sure, it’s a pessimistic mindset to embrace, but at least it’s grounded in reality. It’s hard out there for a pimp; it’s even harder for a comedy writer, and still...
I’m rarely shocked by anything I see on the Internet, and I’ve seen some pretty wild things, mostly niche pornography. Woman on dog, dog on cat, Catdog on Reggie from “Rocket Power” … too many holes, it was confusing. Anyway, a few days back I was surfing the Web when I stumbled upon some hoity-toity...
As it always does, the sun sets once again on Black History Month. BHM is a yearly tradition that began in 1926 and has served our nation not only as a celebration of the cultural impact of notable African Americans, but also as a yearly reminder to Morgan Freeman of whom he still has to...
As a columnist for the most renowned publication within a small radius of Matthews Chevrolet, it’s my duty to comment on events that lay at the forefront of our cultural spectrum. So, what better way to start the semester than with a play-by-play review of the one television event that’s sure to have had everybody...
For a while now I planned on writing my last piece of the semester on something seasonal, like Pearl Harbor. That all changed last Thursday afternoon when a couple of my buddies and I decided to eat a late breakfast at Cracker Barrel. I lost a little piece of me that afternoon … a big,...
Jerry Sandusky’s gaze followed the sun as it set behind an army of trees lining his backyard. A cloud of smoke painted every exhale as he contemplated some of his more questionable life decisions. Behind him, his home. Inside was his emotionally battered wife, Dorothy. Donning a turkey-themed blouse and a white turtleneck, she tended...
Hey Mom and Dad — remember when you framed that story I wrote in the first grade, while praising my talent and stressing the importance of always following my dreams? Well, congratulations. In a few months I’ll be graduating from a liberal arts college with a degree in creative writing and an insuppressible desire to...
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