Article

The Search For Off-Campus Housing

Day Five, Early Evening: Obsess about how you do not have enough people to cover the rent for the house. Think about how much you want the house. Study for midterm.
Lindsay Kennedy -

It’s that time of year again: for Binghamton University students, the ratrace to find decent and desirable off-campus housing has begun. And once again, every stinking one of you who wishes to live in Binghamton next year suddenly finds yourself in a kill or be killed situation Searching for off-campus housing is kind of like falling into an episode Twilight Zone, but it always seems to follow the same formula:

1. Day One: Tear classified section of Pipe Dream out of the paper and tack it onto bulletin board. Circle desirable houses and begin calling landlords obsessively. Leave multiple messages. Cry when they don’t call you back. Try again. Poor roommate loses voice in the process.

2. Day Two: Call one landlord only to find that he isn’t a landlord at all, but really a crack house owner, and that his phone number had been printed by mistake. Cross that house off the list and make another round of calls.

3. Day Three: Visit an apartment with friends. You’re impressed by the gym and the jacuzzi in the basement and by the hot landlord, but the lack of space in the apartment and it’s dingy brown walls just don’t do the trick. Neither does the kitchen or dining area, both of which are smaller than a single bedroom in Hillside. Politely smile and say you’ll think it over. There’s no chance you’ll think it over, hot landlord or not. Back to the drawing board.

4. Day Four: Visit two houses. Immediately learn not to judge a house by its outside appearance - they can hold wonders inside. Admire iron fireplace and carved wooden banister in the first house, as well as three giant windows in a first floor bedroom. In the second house, love the big kitchen and the home’s generally welcoming atmosphere, although on the downside it is so far from everything it might as well be in Owego. You’re still impressed, and go home feeling giddy with delight at the prospect of living off-campus. Already plan your first house party. On a whim, arrange to look at a third home, this one in the depths of Binghamton and marketed by a different landlady.

5. Day Five, Afternoon: Visit the third home, which is in a student-populated neighborhood, and near a friend. Become slightly scared when friend’s neighbors stare at you obnoxiously as you drive up. Ignore them and go to view the house, which is even better than the first two. In fact, it is everything you could want in a house. Think about how you will decorate. Then you hear the rent price, and suddenly realize that you do not have enough people to cover the rent. Wonder if this happens to everyone. The landlady tells you that she has another group viewing the house in a half an hour. Panic.

Day Five, Early Evening: Obsess about how you do not have enough people to cover the rent for the house. Think about how much you want the house. Study for midterm. Obsess some more. Study. Obsess. Study. Obsess. Eat some chocolate. Obsess. This goes on for awhile.

Day Five, Evening: Good news! Landlady calls. Tells you the other group is signing the lease for the house the next day, but that if you want the house, it is yours. Agree to meet the landlady to sign the lease as soon as possible. Gather together friends and run to the car. Drive to McDonald’s where you meet her and sign the lease on your first house. Bring cameras and document the moment. Feel really, really, really happy. Call parents and tell them security deposit is due for next year.